Pregnant After 3 Miscarriages
June 26, 2018
The four weeks of waiting from the positive pregnancy test to the ultrasound started out with me being an anxious mess; no more testing to confirm my pregnancy, no more blood work to confirm a viable pregnancy, nothing. Just waiting and fearing the worse. With 3 miscarriages before, my mind easily went down the rabbit holes of the past: the poking and prodding from doctors, searching for answers about what failed before. Please Lord, do not let my body fail again.
After my first miscarriage, I knew I needed to make a choice. I was not going to let this tragedy defeat me. I was going to dig deep and find strength to push forward. I continued to pray asking God to help my unbeliefs, for patience, peace, and trust. I began to notice a shift; a calmness and peace knowing that whatever the circumstance, God is with me and I began to wait expectantly for the truth I was trying so hard to grasp before: God is good, loving, and faithful; an ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).
I am now about halfway through my pregnancy and am still clinging to this truth. I have my ups and downs, but this journey has been such a blessing. It has strengthened my marriage more than I thought possible, healed my soul of longing, taught me to be content in any circumstance, to have patience, introduced me to an amazing group of women who are a tremendous support, and most importantly, stretched my faith and strengthened my relationship with God.
To the women out there who are on this rollercoaster of infertility, never give up. You are not alone. Reach out. Allow others in and build relationships. This journey can be isolating if we let it.
Moms in the Making took me out of isolation. I had great family and friend support, but I felt like something was missing, that no one really understood my heartache. I found this group and no longer felt alone. This group also strengthened my relationship with God. So many of the posts are encouraging and allow me to dig deeper into my faith. I am so grateful that my journey led me to Moms in the Making!
Shanua Stobbs-Bultema – Florida